More clients have had thoughts of suicide this year in my psychotherapy office than in the last five years. I’m not scared for them, but as a fellow traveler, I grieve for those contemplating suicide. One woman comes in and clutches a peacock pillow. In the early Spring a depressed client comes and sips chamomile/ginger tea. I want them to enter the door and curl up in comfort on a sofa. We talk about their losses, gratitude, and personal strengths in a warm den of softness.

Climb Away from Danger

Suicide behavior is an act of desperation.

Fear of the future and hopelessness grip our young people. Many don’t expect to raise children, many can’t plan the next 10 years. “I would go off of birth control tomorrow, but will my children end up living in some kind of dystopia?” Because of climate change, the Earth is becoming more and more inhospitable and disaster looms more imminently.

I’m remembering two graduate students who bravely came into therapy. They resiliently crawled away from the suicide precipice. Continue reading →

Excuses heard in the marriage therapist’s room–

Hidden Love

“I didn’t intend  my flattery to be taken as an invitation for sex.”

“She was the one to start talking dirty. I was just joking.”

“He sent me a sexy picture that blew my socks off.”  Does this sound familiar?

The internet permeates all the corners of our lives. Many people assume that cybersex isn’t a threat to the marriage. When couples commit to each other, the contract doesn’t explicitly say, ‘No sexting and no courting on email.’  Have you ever heard of a marriage vow that says, “I promise to be a loving and faithful spouse in sorrow and in joy, in sickness and in health, with flirtatious and with chaste texts. Continue reading →